Nonsensical - you are right about the absence of mention of the Beast in my posts, I guess that although I have read RR (several times to be accurate) aspects of the method (if that's the right word) still create problems in my understanding. Perhaps I lack imagination or whatever but the terminology leaves me more confused the more I think about it. Having said that, there are huge pluses with the approach which really appeal to me. But I've decided that stuff like the Big Plan, and Beast don't cut it for me, (although of course I know that they are metaphors for urges and intentions and not literal) these words cannot take root in my mind in any meaningful way. We are all different, I can see how others may use these terms quite happily but something doesn't sit right with me when I use them. Maybe it's cynicism on my behalf but I feel like I'm pretending when I say to myself 'YOU don't want a drink, your BEAST does'. I appreciate it works for others but so far it hasn't for me. I realise it's a separation technique, but I feel it takes things in isolation too much. I'm looking for a more holistic approach, or maybe just my own terminology that speaks to me!!
Soberlicious - you are right, I am looking for all kinds of input, keep them coming! I value everyone's contribution.
Robby - you said something earlier about finding the higher path to recovery, and if I understand you right that is what I am trying to do. Again this could be different for everyone. For me it's about trying to find out who I am without booze, find some peace within, challenge myself to do all the things I think I may be capable of but haven't been arsed to do as I've been so fixated on alcohol, and learn to accept that I can't control everything. I cannot control the fact that, at the moment, I don't understand how I've gotten to this point, but that I can control what I do next. Which is remain sober.
If my posts are contradictory then I guess it showcases how my understandings and insights are evolving. I'm being as honest as I can, so that's where I'm at right now. The mantra is 'I don't drink'! Feeling good.