Here is a little test, answer three or more with a yes and you are probably a codependent.
1. Do you feel responsible for the actions of another person?
2. Do repeatedly loose sleep worrying about another person?
3. Do you feel compelled or obligated to help another person, before your own obligations or needs?
4. Do you suppress thoughts or feelings about helping another, only to “explode” in anger later?
5. Do you feel rejected or angry when another person does not want your help?
6. Do you over commit yourself to groups or committees, only to feel angry about your commitment?
7. Do you go to work early and stay late because the boss “needs you”?
8. Do you stay late at work to “clean up” after your employees or co-workers?
9. Do you work long hours but do not charge your employer or client for the work you performed?
10. Do you obsessively clean the house, do laundry, cook, to please someone else?
1. Do you worry more about the kid’s, spouse, or significant other’s activities than your own?
12. Do you take on extended families, e.g. other people’s kids?
13. Do you live with or “involved with” an alcoholic, drug addict, gambler, sex addict, etc.?
14. Do feel like or have you ever been called a “Dry Drunk”?
15. Do you find yourself “enabling” another person in their addiction?
16. Do you sometimes find yourself “sabotaging” another person’s attempts at recovery?
17. Do you feel ashamed about your family or personal relationships?
18. Do you deny or hide the fact that your family may have been troubled, repressive or dysfunctional?
19. Do you find yourself unnecessarily stealing from or spying from your partner or children, e.g. bank accounts, mail, e-mail, day planners, etc.?
20. Do you easily get confused, depressed, lethargic or sick particularly after helping another person?
21. Do you go to doctors to get tranquilizers or sedatives?
22. Are you experiencing long term physical symptoms of stress, e.g. premature hair graying or rapid hair loss, varicose veins, ulcers, menstrual irregularities, etc.?
23. Do you sometimes feel that mental or physical abuse by another is your fault?
24. Do you sometimes “wish” another person were dead?
25. Do you sometimes wish both you and another person were dead?
26. Do you have thoughts of suicide?