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Old 02-23-2013, 04:58 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Lyoness
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Congtulations on making it, Ollie! We all definitely need to read more positive stories like yours, helps give us hope!

I'm halfway through my subs taper and it's been a rough ride. A big part of the problem for me has been my subs doctor. He's just not very supportive, not very forthcoming. He's the kind of guy who'd rather confer with his "equals"--other docs--rather than just be really clear and informative to his patient, me. I'm the type who needs a very informative and caring doctor, so this poor match between us has made things immeasurably worse.

I've been struggling with sudden, deep, suicidal depression the past few weeks, couldn't figure it out. A knowledgeable friend thought it was a bad case of PAWS. I felt angry that my doc didn't tell me this.

Well, finally the other day I got him to talk and he said that me being on subs is basically being in chronic withdrawals! That sucks! I told him my understanding--not from him cuz he won't answer questions--was that subs was supposed to PREVENT PAWS, not drag it out. I really could have used this information going on, like three months ago. Sh*t! What kind of doc is this anyway?

He also finally told me that he thinks I'm having Depression unrelated to going off opiates/PAWS. Would have been nice to have that information weeks/months ago, too. I'd go to someone else but he's the only game in town. The other subs doc is an hour away and is an addict himself (which I don't mind) and a sexual harasser (as in drugging his female employees among other things) which I really, really do mind. One of the disadvantages of living in a small rural area.

Anyway, I am concerned about how my subs taper will ultimately go and if I'll stay in "chronic withdrawal" afterward. THat really freaks me out. Thankfully I"ve been saving some to have when I'm through with doctor subs in case I need to do the .5 or .25 thing for awhile.
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