Razor, I am happy my story helped I am still booze-free. Have been (except for those two half glasses which I didn’t even enjoy) since December 27. My friend came over tonight. We used to have at least 2 bottles of red between the two of us. I bought wine as usual and she drank it all. (1 bottle…. She doesn’t have an addictive personality. She can have one bottle and then go for 3 weeks without noticing she hasn’t had any wine at all….). Anyway, I was never tempted to drink. By the end of the evening she was pretty sloshed and I found myself thinking: is that what I was like? Slurring my words, saying stupid things, smelling of wine? I felt ashamed of myself. I can’t let myself think about that and what people must have thought of me. It makes me cringe!
I don’t know how it’s possible that I simply don’t want the stuff anymore. I found myself wondering whether I should consider having a glass of wine with a friend (knowing I would not continue afterwards because I always found it easy to stop it if it’s an “isolated” drink, in a café (you don’t really get bars here) with someone who is not a heavy drinker). But I realized I didn’t feel like it. I’d rather have green tea with honey! I am finding it so hard to believe it can be this simple…. I am tempted to say I am not being fooled…. I am tapping my foot, waiting for the addictive me to come tip toeing behind my back….
Of course, the route here wasn’t easy. That I have to admit. I had tried to cut down or detox before and I found it incredibly hard. I have read some call this the honeymoon period…. I hope they’re wrong. It's like in life you always have to get punished when something comes to you too easily....
