I'm glad you're not hurt or anything sobrietygrl4.
for fully 15 years I tried to be sober....don't lose heart
I understand why you're beating yourself up but really - it's pointless...we can't change a second of the past.
We can do a lot with the now tho - this really can be your last day one
What do you think you can add to what you've been doing so far in terms of your recovery?
D