Heard from an old friend today. It was nice.
I'm home with a "racked up back". Not good work wise, but I can barely walk over 10 feet, and steps are beyond me. Took asprin, muscle relaxant and am applying heat...should be turned around quickly as it's already a lot better than it was when I tried to go to the bathroom at 3 am LOL
I had a bit of a panic last night because there is a storm coming and we may be "house bound" for a day or so. Of course iin with the be sure we have food that can be eaten cold...was buy an extra carton of ciggeretes and OMG...maybe a bottle.....
It's ok, I'm not caving...just that I'm not quite far enough along in sobriety to not have those thoughts. The past tells me that with a bit of time those thoughts simply don't even occur. Just because I have a thought doesn't mean I have to act on it. I guess I just don't see it as the witch or devil on my back trying to lure me back...for me it is just habit...a routine thought that comes up and then goes. If I don't act on it the thought will fade and is less likely to come up again. This is something that buddhism helped me to understand. If I make it "evil" or "seperate" ... well for me that actually increases it's power. If I simply acknowledge it and let it go....It's not "me" and it's not "not me" it's simply the monkey mind at work.
So...I'm going to take my asprin and use the heating pad and move around slowly on and off today.
Nands