Jezb2008,
So glad to hear you do have support (al anon sponsor), at least from someone that gets the whole addiction piece! That for me was critical! I truly believe that having a sponsor was key to my recovery door! Clearly there were many other forces in play assisting me in recovery, but a sponsor was what helped me sort through everything in my early recovery! Helped me to understand and kept me grounded as best she could, by sharing her experience, strength and hope! Bravo for you dear lady! Stay with it, it will get better!
As for the folks outside your home and their "opinions" and "2 cents", that's is really none of their business! With all due respect! However for me in my early recovery .... everyone was my sounding board! I shared all the "juicy" and poor me stuff with everyone that would listen! I was a marytar, huge marytar! I wanted answers and told and asked everyone that knew nothing about addiction "what would you do" "what do you think"! I learned over time to share with those in meetings, my sponsor and GOD! I got over the guilt, the shame and the worry about what everyone else thought and said! I stopped sharing my personal private affiars with people that, God love them did not understand addiction!
Adventually I have the courage to change what I could! And gained the confidence I needed in my choices and the ability to do what I needed to do to take care of me! It took time and hard work but it happened and will for you! You will get to a place where the awkwardness of change and recovery and taking care of you and listening to your gut will come naturally! And the thought of what others think say or do wont effect you!
If you did what was best for you and your family/kids to have peace and serinty in your home and life, then no one has the right to question that! Trust your gut and allow the peace and serinity be your comfort and guide to keep doing what you need to do for you! Just for today!