I feel like I am finally turning a corner this last month and finding acceptance. I have been hanging out in all of the other phases of grief for years. I have had some recent days of depression and have the need to fill my time with distractions- mostly healthy ones. No contact (which for me was a phasing out of contact until now- no contact) is what has allowed me to come to this place of awareness and acceptance. Mainly through inaction in regards to him and action in regards to me. In light of his recent relapse (he started injecting heroin again) I got confirmation that my intuition is guiding me again. I walked away before his relapse because of the way he was treating me and not because of his using. I did not feel the need to communicate with him or be with him to find closure or a solution. It just dawned on me that literally, there is nothing I can do. Nothing. Except walk away and live my life. I have absolutely no idea what will happen and I will not be around to find out. I just won't spend every minute in worry, panic, and crisis anymore. This is not my battle. He will remain in my prayers. I am scared for him although I trust God will take care of him. It is so painful and challenging to let go. But today, I think I put down the rope and did not pick it back up for once. God watch over him and protect me from ever returning to that dark hell.