great post creek,,i too tried so hard to chase the buzz,,its awful to know the amount i consumed was rising and rising each month,thats when i started hiding the bottles i guess,,silly hubby, he wont know heehee ,,
,or so i thought,,
i think he'd had enough after another drinken argument,all one sided of course,,and he had to sleep in the kitchen cos the kids were having a sleepover in the spare room.
wake up call for me,,,after 10 yrs of it "thats it love,,stop , or your out",,"or im out".and boy this time he really meant it x
so,,i stopped,,i really wanted to ,, i couldnt stand the distruction i was causing to the people i love so dearly,,geeze even my lil dog was starting to hate me!! lol
and i too,,dreamt of the day that i could sip a margarita,,on holiday,,watching the sunset on the beach,,holding his hand,,but alas,,i know i cannot do that,,and i wont.
i think sometimes,,"its just not fair",,self pittying thoughts,,,"why did i have to be an alcholic",,ect ect,,,but i learnt that,,"hey , its just life i guess,,sometimes life aint fair,,"
when i see on tv,,couples having a romantic drink together,, i know hes thinking it too,, "why did my wife have to be a darn alkie",, but we both love me as i am now,,and as i will be forever ,,
cant i have a "mocktail i say?? or have a coke with all the fancy gubbings in it as the cocktails do??
the works,,fancy staws, pretty flowers,,just like dell boy does,,(google only fools and horses for those not in uk,,lol),, and why not indeed,,just no alcohoholholhol hell
????
so,,that is what i do,,only on those occasions when i feel i want to join him,,,he doesnt need me to and its not cos i need to too,,oh no,,cos i dont .
oh dear , ive rambled,,sorry,,but happy tuesday everyone anyhoo,,
big hugs cleo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx