Like many others on this thread I grew up in dangerous FOO and you do learn to suppress your emotions, to blend into the walls, tiptoe quietly and live on the edge of fear all the time.
Repeated unhealthy, fearful, stressful lifestyles cause brain changes that affect our emotions. My father was a ragaholic who delighted in torturing others especially his children and out of six kids I was the most enjoyable to hurt. Why? I have no idea... did I remind of his own mother with whom he apparently had issues? (She died when I was young).
Because I might have been maimed or killed by my borderline sociopath father I had to survive by suppressing my emotions and certainly keeping my mouth shut. I raged inside at the injustice and vowed to never allow myself to be mistreated as an adult.
And then as an adult I subconsciously would connect with an alcoholic (usually in recovery) and I was the ragaholic!
Completely bizarre. I am a tangled bowl of spaghetti that I am unraveling one strand at time. It has now taken the past year of no alcoholics in my life and daily SR, alanon, counseling and a lot of work reading and contemplating to get to a place of serenity and peace... true joy and happiness!
And to keep that I need to make sure that I don't add an alcoholic to the ragaholic that I know lives dormant inside of me... because I suffer from the family disease of alcoholism although I don't get relief from a drink. My drug of choice is work... I love to spin 8 0r 9 plates of projects that make everyone else dizzy!
Maybe I will work on that this year....
My point in sharing that we are all on journeys of self discovery and understanding of our emotions and those deep feelings. It feels good for me to RAGE... because I have suppressed that rage for years against my father. So... to me... even thought it FEELS good to RAGE it is counterproductive because the roots of my rage are inside of me and not the alcoholic that I vented at for his destructive behaviors.
Now that he is gone and I have chosen to focus on my own brokenness I have started really healing and found it much easier to develop healthy relationships even with problem personalities.... and there are LOTS of difficult personalities in the world!
Raging or being angry at alcoholics is kinda like being angry with your dog... they are just going lalalalala in their heads as long as they are actively drinking anyway! So why get your blood pressure up and your nerves jangled and make your voice hoarse? MIght as well rage at the wall...