Old 02-08-2013, 10:24 AM
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cldh85
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Morristown
Posts: 2
How do I support my spouse going through recovery?

Hi. My husband (we are currently 5 months separated due to his alcohol use) is currently on the verge of finally addressing his alcoholism and entering rehab. Last month he finally admitted that he had a serious drinking problem and has just recently used the word "alcoholic". He stopped drinking about a month ago but had a relapse last week. Since then he says he is sober. He has been trying to find a rehab program, but I have been careful not to enable him.

He is not by nature a responsible person, but I feel that he has not taken this seriously. He says the right things, that he wants to get clean for himself, that he wants a fresh start, and that he wants to be a healthier person and fix our marriage. He finally was able to get into a rehab program and I agreed to take him this morning. I knew he was getting cold feet, and this morning he called to say that he had not packed at all (he had ample time) and did not have a reason, and apologized to me. He said that he was going to go on Monday. I don't know what to believe anymore. I am tired of being disappointed and having him bail on me and on himself. I am trying to be as supportive as possible but I don't have much left in me. I am desperate to see him accept help, but more, to see him actively ask for help without being pressured. I told him that if he bails on Monday, I am filing for divorce.

My question is- how do I help support him without enabling? And how do I know when he is really ready and not just giving me a line? I am so scared that he is drinking right now. Since the separation I do not speak to his friends or family so I do not have them for support right now.
Any help is appreciated. I am so frightened for him that he will not accept the help.

Thank You.
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