Nands, given your current difficulties on a range of fronts, do cut yourself slack in 'not being very positive' (at the mo, on SR). In my experience, SR is truly blessed in being very sparse in the Positivity-Police department :-)
Whine away, dear, you won't always need to. It's just part of the human condition, I believe ;-) And given what you've described about not really having many people to talk to about your troubles, and know that you need in yourself to be less emotionally dependent on your mother....maybe consider that places like here ARE where you can offload a bit.
Others will gently support and encourage you. No, it's not the same as real f2f interaction, but given there's many hundreds (or is it thousands?) of SR posters - and readers - that tells me that it's a damn good substitute. Hence the term, virtual community.
x Vic