This is good stuff!
There are bells going off left and right.
I'm really rethinking my definitions of resentment, anger, rage. I'm seeing how expectations weave in and out of each -AND how hard it is not to have expectations. But I believe that expectations are at the root of this.
I think I was trained to just accept and swallow the disrespect and bad behavior when I was with my A. It kept the peace - temporarily. It never seemed to be helpful for me to stand my ground and express my feelings on things. Such action by me was met with such a bad response from him. I was convinced that it was my action that was bad. And growing up, expressing anger was bad!!!!
I may be attributing self-respecting boundaries to resentment.
I recognize that I'm not really adding much to this discussion....I'm just sharing how helpful it is to me in sorting things out. I know now that I still have expectations of my A even though I have a protection order against him and we will soon (God willing) be divorced. Crazy.
MamaKit