New to RR/AVRT
I am about 40 pages into the RR book, and I have read about it here and on the R.org website. It makes so much more sense to me than treating a 'disease' by outing my (numerous) character flaws and 'spiritual defects'.
When I first had AV explained to me I was mad at it. It felt great to be mad at it. Previoulsy I only knew to be mad at me. When I learned that I am sharing a body with a Beast Brain that craves alcohol it was the biggest palm-plant-to-the-forehead of my life. So obvious, why couldn't I see it? Then I was angry at Him. He had stolen so much from me for so long...
The anger is subsiding. Now My Beast Brain (and his voice) seems more like an animal that doesn't know enough to stop eating before it makes itself sick. Like a 2-year-old child who discovered candy, and doesn't understand why it can't have any more. My AV caused me decades of pain, but it didn't know any better. It just kept doing the only thing it knows how to do: ask me for alcohol.
I have to hear my AV, but I don't have to listen to it. It is not me talking. When I didn't know any better that voice scared me; tormented me; sickened me; bullied me; tricked me; deceived me. No more.
No more.