I'm pretty much on the same page with Mike.
I stopped having any expectations that my second husband would behave any differently than he did. I acted accordingly, and decided that I did not want to be in a relationship that was like that.
Yes, I was disappointed (VERY) and sad (even MORE very) that it worked out that way, but it was out of my hands. The only thing I could do was to make the best choice for myself and to avoid kicking the man when he was down.
I don't like the things he did during our marriage. That's why I left after giving him what I considered to be a fair opportunity to work on his recovery. He chose not to, and that's a shame, but it's his life, his choice. I have my own. I can honestly say I have let go of the anger that I once felt toward him. I think anger is a natural emotion, but not one that should be nurtured. I don't think it is necessary to keep a fire of anger burning in order to leave, or to take steps to protect yourself from harm.