Thanks ShootingStar,
I've been thinking about this a lot and appreciate the discussion very much. For me resentment and rage are different. Maybe that is just me. To describe what I feel, I view resentment as a "position" I am taking where rage is much more of an action. Like, when someone hears something offensive or disagreeable, the may say "I resent that remark!" The focus is on the remark - or to put it in context with the discussion here - the focus of resentment is on the behavior or action by our qualifier.
It really is a matter of semantics, I guess.
This distinction has allowed me to feel less guilty about my feelings of resentment.
I am still angry from time to time about current events with my A and things from the past. I believe I will work through those feelings properly and let go of them when it's right. But I will always resent the actions. And I believe at some point I will leave the actions in the past.
Another comparison that came to mind is how my mother would never call me or my siblings a "bad boy" or a "bad girl" - she would focus on the action that was inappropriate. I guess that is what leads me to the way I feel about resentment being something that helps me keep my resolve and stand up for myself and maintain my boundaries - because it focuses on what they did, not their disease or who they are.
Good discussion,
Thanks and hugs,
MamaKit