LifeRecovery

I am two years out from my divorce, and overall I am doing pretty well. I still attend my support regularly and I am starting to put together a lot of pieces in my life which I suspect I needed to and loving a problem drinker allowed me to see all those pieces.

I have really struggled this weekend though and though I am feeling it, I am putting it out there to get support.

My loved one that got me here is a huge football fan. The Superbowl for many years had been a trigger (fights about driving, fights about not driving together, fights about my level of interest in the game etc). The second to last Superbowl we were together I worked that day (in healthcare, at a hospital), and there was a huge car accident with many hurt coming in at the same time. I did not make the game "party" as a result.

I called after I was done with work to see if he needed a ride. He told me he was fine (and he sounded it). That night i heard him pull up but not come in. He was inches from running into our house, and passed out at the wheel. It was when I realized that this did not just impact him, and by extension me, but our community as a whole.

I think I am also struggling a bit as I live in the west in a rural area. When he and I met he lived in the big city three hours away. I got to know this city well as I traveled there to see him. I went again for a work related trip this week for the first time. It brought back the good memories of the time where alcohol did not play a role for me in our relationship (or i was unaware of it).

The day especially made me realize that it is probably a trigger for more than me so this is sending out energy to the universe that all will be well (and safe) this evening.