Originally Posted by
RobbyRobot 
Yes. It makes good sense to me.
We can't ever escape ourselves and at the same time live life in the moment without courting serious pretense into our lives. Exercising free will is a wonderful choice to make, and when from a place of strength and desire, even more so.
Fear is a mind-killer. There are no stronger prison bars then the ones we knowingly self-create against ourselves within our own psyche. When we ourselves are the jailor and author of our own torment, we are truly lost.
Being indifferent but not ignorant to our fears creates the golden key which will unlock any and all locked doors, now and always, without fail, simply, and without pomp and ceremony.
Free will in action is power unending when brought against any challenge we may choose to meet successfully.
Originally Posted by
freshstart57 Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
Thank you Robby and freshstart
So I've been thinking about fears today whilst I've been pottering about. What exactly are my fears?
And I think the bit in bold above sums it up. Am I actually afraid to be myself? Am I afraid of life itself? Can I not feel comfortable in my own skin?
I do drink to shut off. I can dress it up and calling it relaxing in the evening, having some 'me' time...everybody does it right? Wrong. I don't know anybody in my life now that would drink 2 bottles of wine every other evening.
I wasn't always like this though, 6 years ago I had a good job, was doing an OU degree, was running my own business (badly) I felt quite content with myself and comfortable in my routine.
I know what things have changed in my life since then and how unhappy I have become over the years. So what am I fearing? Facing up to these things and my current life I think.
Am I overthinking everything? I'm doing my own head in that's for sure
I know when I have had periods of sobriety I struggle with the evenings. There is just a desperate sense of loneliness. Ok the first few days are usually 'easy' for me to deal with as I'm happy to go to bed very early and just read. After that novelty wears off though I just don't know what to do with myself or how to relax with myself.
Do I keep returning to my prison because it is comfortable and it is numb? I think so.
Anyway I'm just waffling now and I haven't replied to either post properly at all!
When you say indifference to my fears Robby, do you mean accepting them, but not over thinking them? Carry on regardless. I do think over thinking is a huge problem of mine.
Hmmm I was going to say food for thought lol - aha more thinking! Doh.