I get it. I do the same thing sometimes. I miss my ex ... I miss the great stuff we used to do together ... & I forget the horrible things we did to each other ... & every now & then I have a sentimental moment when my brain stops working & I remember just
how good the good things were & I can imagine ringing him & saying "Ya wanna just drop everything & go camping out on Pagans Flat for the rest of our lives?". But I don't, because SR has taught me to play the tape
all the way through. Yup ... ALL the way through. Cause then I get to the bit where he has too much to drink, & then he gets nasty, & then I feel abandoned, & then he has some more to drink & gets dangerous & then I feel scared, & then he has a bit more still & something potentially life threatening happens & I'm crying & wondering how I got back in this nightmare
again. I have learned to cherish the memories of the good stuff - & some of it was
amazing. I'm grateful for that & it is precious to me. But some of it was hell, for both of us, & I eventually had to admit the hell was too hellish to ignore any longer & I let go. Now I resist the urge to pretend the good times were the
only times, & I don't pick up the phone
