Never give up, the pain and shame will fade with time.
At SMART we try to identify and dispute harmful irrational beliefs. In my past relapses, the most destructive belief has been that after having one night of drinking, I needed to go on a full-on bender. And don't stress too much about the day/ month / year count. Yes sober time is the goal, but you don't lose that time you had or what you learned if you can pick back up.