I agree with dollydoo.
He has a problem and it sounds like hes tip toing around the ussue
And putting only one foot forward.
The fact that his drinking has made an impact on you and his family. His job
And with charges it sounds like regardless of what he wants to call it.
It is what it is. He may not be dependant (yet)
But hes heading down a path you yourself are upset over.
Its not like my ah or alot of addicts woke up one day and were dependant...
It progressed and at first was the same as your husband.
Individual coubseling is great but what would really make a great start woth both feet going
In the right direction is for him to consider aa or smart again.....to really give it a shot
Not with " I am not like these people" but with " I could be them"