Dear SadConfused, I just want to tell you that you don't have to KNOW what to say ahead of time when you call the hotline. You just have to dial the phone and say that you want to talk to someone. They know the questions t ask. These workers are are extensively trained and very dedicated to the clients they serve. They CARE about you and understand your fears and confusion.
You will find that they are very kind and campassionate and are not going to criticize you or force you to do anything you do not want to. They have seen every kind of situation that you can imagine, so they are not going to shock them in any way.
They have all the resources at their disposal and can save you a lot of work and effort.
I would suggest that you call from a safe phone and a safe and private place (where you are free to talk). Anything you say is kept strictly confidential. They will protect your privacy.
Go ahead and call. I know you are scared, right now---but, after you talk to them, you will feel a weight lift because you will feel like you are not facing this alone!
very sincerely, dandylion
p.s. Keep posting and let us know how it is going