I was instructed to attend at least 6 meetings, but to attend the same meeting at least twice, before deciding if AlAnon was working for me. It took 3 different groups before I found one that feels right. Now, every meeting isn't the same, some are better than others as the cast of characters can be different each week. But if I just sit and listen I will often walk away with just one pearl that sticks with me.
The point of the meetings is not really to give you solutions. No one will tell you what is right for you. They can only share their experiences, how they learned to deal with things. That's why there's no cross talk. No opinions. Only wisdom and support. I agree that "solutions" come with working the Steps. We truly do need to learn to give it up to whatever our HP is....day to day. Each and every day, let it go.
I read "The Language of Letting Go" every morning before starting my day. It's a daily reader, and it always centers me as I head into the world.