Sadconfused,
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know how difficult it is to make that call. It gives the situation a reality you may not be ready to accept. I know that for me it was such a huge relief to talk to someone. I am glad to read that you recognize how time can sometimes minimize the shock value and you fall back into things the way they were. This is part of a cycle that is important for you to recognize. Good for you.
It does not lose its shock value for those outside your situation reading what you are going through. Imagine that your dearest friend, someone who you care about very much, is experiencing what you are with your A. What would you tell that friend?
It's time to be your own best friend and acknowledge that this is completely unacceptable. You've received some good advice here. It comes from people who get it and people who care about you and your child.
Keep us posted.
You are very much in my thoughts.
Hugs
MamaKit