HI all
I'm struggling a bit because I miss contact with someone I can just review the day with and whine a bit, laugh a bit, and go on...
But...I think I need this time to be sober and not discuss every detail with mom...we aren't the same people and it's a burden to her and a guilt trip for me.
I am going to ask my brother and his wife over for dinner on Saturday. This week I've got a lot done...mostly "responsible"...but also started to think deeply (horror or horrors lol)...but feeling some balance and "control" (gasp).
Mom is currently crossing the horn...so seasickness is probably the temporary issue....but she has always wanted to do it and it will be great once she gets through that and gets to see a far a way land
I really can't say I'm "happy" or "content"....But I'm not like craving tons. And I kinda feel like I can be a bit more me cause it's not drinking that effects these relationships...it's me being who I am...that means I gotta learn to be ok with it and nice about not shoving "me" in others faces lol
Frankly, I don't feel "safe" from falling off the path...but I'm willing to walk it. An ex boyfriend (serious and serious baggage) emailied me yesterday. We've reconnected as old friends (he is happily married and I'm happily not married to him LOL). But he told me about the one time he talked to my dad about perpetual motion (ok if you aren't into physics you might not get this!) But it was a touching story and even though I was a bit on the teary side for the next 2 hours....it was a touching and happy moment...
I might be learning to live in the bounce again....with some new growth as well...
anyways...love you all!
Nands