azureseas and bemyself: I remember those times so well. I can't say I never thought I would resolve my drinking problem, but I sure as heck had no idea how I would. It seemed nothing, not even my own will, could keep me from having my wine when I wanted it and where I wanted it.
I was on a hamster wheel, going round and round, with no exit sign or at least an exit sign I cared to follow.
It didn't prevent me from praying every single morning (hung over or otherwise) asking my Heavenly Father for help, for strength, for peace. I believed in Him and His power, but still felt defeated.
I wish I had a magic wand or spell or words for you. Keep up the good fight. Focus on that one day when everything will fall into place and not drinking becomes the answer to all the hard questions.
I wish you well.
Tammy
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