Yes Azure, I'm exactly where you're at too...back to drinking every day or every 2nd day, even after coming home from AA meetings!
Yesterday, I picked up around lunchtime, so it's getting earlier in the day each time. Then: drove drunk - 2nd time in a fortnight - to buy more wine!ARghghghgghhhhh.........
I will now pour out the bottle and a bit left in the fridge - as I've done several times in the past week or two. I will not drink today because EVEN IF I THINK I WANT TO: that is my Addictive Voice - it's gained new strength again from getting what It wants. i.e. when booze is back in our brain pathways, the brain just does what it's automatically become programmed to do. So I must break out the anti-virus software of recovery again.
Thank God for you all here at SR.