Lizzy says...
It just seems easier to leave the relationship because it's not what I want for the rest of my life. Any suggestions on how to deal with this?
Wow! That is great that you are able to do that. Many of us aren't and we live with it, and believe me, if he continues to drink, it will just get worse. I can't tell you how to deal with "it" or detach, it is very difficult. Since you are ready to move on, then I suggest you do that and do what you want to do with your life... I have lived with it for 15 years and it is awful. Many people on this board will tell you that you are capable of living with it... that is true, but it will be difficult. In my case, I don't know how anyone can TRULY be happy, living with an active drinker. Many of us grieve daily for not having a mature responsible adult to be intimate with, share lifes pleasures, share holidays, share our childrens accomplishments, etc. If he continues to drink, you will be sharing many of lifes pleasures alone or with other people besides your spouse. So, your question of how to deal with it... leave if you can. Sorry for the bluntness, but I know there are many many many people that would agree. I have not been on these boards for long, but I have met many people in my same situation, and many of us are about 15 years into it. And, none of us are happy.
So, why do we stay? I guess because we are married. For us, I guess it is easier. If you find it easier to leave, DO IT!!!!!!! and good luck!