For so long I have kept up this picture perfect life to everyone including my family. I'm 22, I'm getting good grades in law school, I overcame addiction, etc. etc. My boyfriend, who is also a recovered heroin addict, had gotten in trouble with the law and had pending charges.
I have kept a huge secret from my mom..that he is still living with me (she thought when he got arrested I broke up with him) and after four months the secret came out. I feel so low for leading a double life. I feel so guilty and low for lieing to the one person that has always had back and always supported me.
Luckily, my mom is willing to move past this huge lie. It got me really thinking though. For the longest time I made excuses for my boyfriend not having a job...pending charges being the biggest one. Now that things are going to be dropped, I need to set a time limit for him getting a job before I am forced to tell him to leave.
I'm tired of keeping up with the lies, it is making me emotionally and physically sick. I am trying so hard with my recovery and law school, I deserve to be with someone that is trying just as hard in their recovery and work life. I refuse to lie to my mom and family any longer, I won't make excuses for him not working any more.
I learned a valuable lesson today. It doesn't matter how hard I try to lead a good life, I will never be truely happy unless I stop keeping secrets. Starting today, I am going to stop making excuses and see the situation for what it is.
I hope if he doesn't get the job that I will be able to be truthful to myself and admit that he must leave, despite loving him.
Thanks for listening, I just feel so low for lieing
