I agree with your last point so very strongly, Ananda. That was a huge barrier for me too - how can I live with myself without alcohol? I had created a strong conditioning which told me that I simply couldn't quit, and if I could quit, I could never quit now. If I could quit drinking, wouldn't I have quit already? Puleeeeeze.
Having quit now, I see that doubt in myself was the most insidious part of my addiction, a self sustaining negative story that was created and reinforced with every hangover and every blackout. It infected every aspect of my life, and the cure was the simple belief that I could face my life stone cold sober.
It really is ok without it, I am really ok without it, but the truth is so much more than that. I am 10 times the person I used to be, when I struggled to just achieve wholeness. It all comes together when we give ourselves permission to be the people we can be without alcohol.