Lara

Thank you so much Miller for your reply. Shwew addiction is hectic!! You so rightly put it - addicts do the MOST shocking things!!!! I suppose it is up to us as individuals what we are prepared to accept - based on the RECOVERING addicts committment to change and healing. I know so many people here say 'cheating total unacceptable'. And I respect that. Others make for allowances. Englishgarden so rightly puts it that anyone in active addiction has literally had their brain stolen by aliens (or something like that) and if you are prepared to wait - wait out the recovery for MINIMUM a year -and see what character lies underneith the drugs. For some people are simple just 'arseh*les' who would lie, cheat and steal under any circumstances.... and maybe, just an inkling of a maybe, others are not.
Very, very difficult when children are involved. And I would not judge anybody chosing to 'work on a marriage' if cheating involved when there are kids. But ONLY, and ONLY if it is a happy environment for the children, and the children are GENUINLY better off (emotionally and physically) with both parents together.....

But for the rest of us... when there is a whole world out there - a world with good people (define good?? Another debate for another time) - then why the hell waste one's precious gift of life with a manipulative, self involved addict!!!