I've been on both sides of the recovery wall so to speak, let me speak as an addict.
I was addicted to pretty much anything, cocaine was a top DOC for me. As was heroin, as was alcohol. I have never cheated on my husband/boyfriend/whatever he was at the time, I have never physically abused anyone. Yet, for some reason these two behaviors (that plenty of people who aren't addicts commit) are tolerated, excused, blamed on addiction, expected, etc., and I will never understand that. Maybe blaming it on addiction softens the blow and makes it seem less..purposeful or intended?
I don't tolerate being hit, I don't tolerate being cheated on. I don't care what the 'excuse' is, they are intolerable behaviors that I have very firm boundaries on, and I will never ever stay with a partner who commits either. I will also never be with a partner who is an active addict. We all have our own boundaries for what we will accept or not in our lives, and I guess it's just up to us to think about and define.