Old 01-25-2013, 12:49 PM
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dasiydoc
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Join Date: Dec 2012
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Boyfriend is at his FIRST Dr. Appointment & 3 days clean now

As I type this Im sitting in the waiting room. My boyfriend is in for his first appointment with the psychiatrist about his addiction to cocaine. He asked me if I would accompany him because he was very nervous. He knew that I wasn’t working during the time of the appointment, and I don’t know if that makes a difference. I guess Im saying he didn’t ask me to change my schedule around to meet his needs. He stopped using on Tuesday. I think he has stuck to it because he has been getting more anxious, grumpy, and not sleeping well. He said he was glad that he had the appointment today and he seems to be at the point where he feels like he needs the help. I know he has a long way to go, but I am hopeful that with the proper help things will turn around for him.

I guess I have a question because Ive been reading a lot for a while now, and there seems to be differing opinions on some things. And I think part of it has to do with peoples views on enabling, and part of it has to do with what people have to do in creating boundaries to help heal their own codependency.
Like with coming with my boyfriend to this doctors appointment. I feel good about it. I feel like I was able to give him some comfort by coming along because we had about a 40 minute drive here and we talked about various things unrelated and it helped him relax, and we plan to stop and eat at this cool restaurant on the way back. \And he is my boyfriend and so I want to support him making a healthy choice for his life.

But I have read here enough to know some people will say he should have went alone and it would have been good for him to face his anxiety alone. Others may say that I am codependent because I agreed to come. Ive been reading the codependent book, and I don’t think I fit into most of it. Like I don’t think by my coming along today I am sucked into the process, responsible for anything, or like Im controlling things. I think he would have driven here alone, and the outcome would have been the same. I guess Im just trying to figure out some of these things and look at what ways I might be enabling or acting codependent even a bit. I know we both have a long way to go, and so I really am trying to learn as much as I can.
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