Intrepid, my Mom did the not remembering too. She was the enabler and would say to my abusive alcoholic dad, "not where is shows dad, not where it shows" as he beat me daily. It drove me crazy. So many things. And she never did remember nor apologize sincerely her whole life. Never owned to it at all, except when she would get creepy and feign tears with her not remembering. But she would and could remember every little detail of every house we lived in and other daily facts to the nth degree. They remember they just don't want to admit it to themselves or others.