If what you were using to stay comfortably sober didn't work out well, then the obvious path is to find something that works better for alcoholics, even one that you like far less than the one you did like a lot but wasn't effective.
At some point you may find as I did after some years of experiencing what you're experiencing, results will become more important to you than the methods used to obtain the result you desire.
The negative is that spot feels really awful. Hope something else you like a lot will turn the trick before you get there.