Hi ccharlotte: Welcome to SR!
I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. I know it can literally crush the breath right out of your chest. Here is a link you might feel more comfortable posting in. You are welcome to hang out here, but the answers you are needing in your source of help is more related in this thread.
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I wish you wellness and comfort in this trying time.
Tiredofdrugs
(TOD)