heya, I'm here in Melbourne and really feeling for you there in rehab.
I've got only part way through your main post (started November last year), but saw you're online.
I too have been struggling terribly with drinking / not drinking and also waiting for my RR book to arrive. Kinda ironic that you're in rehab right now 'just up the road' while I was in rehab this time last year...stayed sober for six full months, then busted many times since, and now drinking again. But NEVER giving up NEVER. I drank a lot more years than you and am 57 y.o. Absolute shite, really.
You're in great company here on SR kiddo! Marvellous that you can in fact connect with SR people whilst in rehab - the wonders of the steam age. Bless you, and just take one minute / hour at a time if you need to.