I'm gonna have to change just how and what I share with my mom. She is a lovely woman and has found a way to deal with a lot of death, illness, and alchoholism. She does very well.... I am the only person in her immediate family (parents, grandparents, brothers, sisteres, sons...who hasn't had cancer. And most of her family have alchoholism or addiction. She has done well at staying clear on not taking on the blame and understanding many aspects. But lately she really has become invested in "saving" me and my brother. She gets the limits...but she doesn't see how controlling she is. She is becoming a lot different from who she was 10 years ago...she really want's to control...Yet she wants to be "helpful" and so she is a mixed bag...plus what she remembers changes from day to day. I keep feeling like "help" is the "sunny side of control".
I've been working to become financially independent, but draw the line at loosing my house. I'm only about half way there...will work harder to get there. It's all so wierd to sort...but for now I am taking as little money from her as I can to meet the absolutely necessary (of course in my opinion),,progress but still those chains are there.
I try to be sure I'm not too up or down when I talk to her, yet share and be honest. She got critical of my sobriety plan, so I just said ok...so how was your day! It was a definate boundry setter, and I hope it didn't hurt her feelings. I won't discuss the plan with her anymore. Need to become a bit less entangled, cause it really does mess with my state of mind.
Day was ok. ups and downs but bounced through ok
I think I'm ok for another day...then mom is off on her antartic adventure and we will see how I handle the lack of daily contact. I think it may end up a good thing...but not necessarily easy.
I'm rambling..I just have to stay steady and not think too hard but think enough to change a little at a time.
Pizza Cassarole...Criminal Minds...Bed (got the budget stuff done already).
Nands