Originally Posted by lizatola

Both my inlaws were alcoholics. My mother in law(mil) used to hit the kids and scream and throw plates at my father in law(dil) and the kids would hide in their beds upstairs. According to my AH, his brother, and his sister they lived in fear. Yet, for some reason, AH spoke to his mother on a regular basis. She was the only family member whom he spoke to regularly. His sister hates him and he and his brother have a contentious relationship but they can get along for a short period of time. I'm not sure how this will play out especially since AH accuses his sister and her husband of being money grubbing idiots. And, it doesn't help that the last time I spoke to mil, she confided in me that my sister in law bounced a check(over 1,000) to her because they borrowed cash from mil for a cruise.

I never knew her this way. I just knew her as a sad retired emergency room nurse who liked to laugh at all my AH's caustic remarks and jokes. I don't know if she had cut back her drinking, but she has been living alone since my fil died back in April of last year.

Anyway, I spoke to her about 10 days ago for an hour. We talked about how my AH is just like his father and how she feels that he'll never change so I might as well move on. I never told AH that she said these things. Apparently, her mail was piling up and the police showed up at my brother in law's door yesterday and they went to the house. He found her dead in the upstairs bedroom on the floor. The family lives in Baltimore so we have to travel back for the funeral, etc. I have to find someone to watch the dog because he doesn't have all his shots yet and can't be boarded at a kennel.

Funny thing was, I was going to file for a legal separation in the next week or so, and now I feel I need to put that off. I think this loss will hit his whole family hard. Even though she was a horrible mother, she was the remaining parent and it's always hard to lose your mother. Coupled with the fact that his brother hasn't finished settling their dad's estate yet and now the house(which is falling apart around itself and should be deemed a health hazard), her car, and other assets need to be figured out as well.