Still dealing with Depression (PAWS)..........
I am able to write this because I am feeling better at the moment. This depression is really starting to get to me. 28 in and I still am fighting this. I know they say PAWS can last for a year, I can't see being about to handle this for that long!
I have been going to the AA meetings and they help. But I have to say that every meeting I have gone to, someone there tells me I need to talk to a doctor. So that is what I did and now I stair at a bottle of Celexa! Please, I can't handle anyone telling me how bad it will be for me to take these meds. I'm still holding out and have an appointment with my regular doctor to see if maybe something else could be causing this.
The morning for me is brutal!!! The Anxiety has eased up a lot but now I have this depression. I don't want to doing anything I like. I just try to pass the time until I get to the afternoon when it always seems to lift. This has been going on for about 4 days now.
One thing I have to say is; I am sick of hearing that this is probably the way I was before I was drinking. Well that is not the case!! Before or while I was drinking. And I wasn't drinking to cover something up. I loved to drink. It was a habit for me. 5 o'clock rolled around and it was time to have a few cocktails. But that was every night for 10 years so I did mess myself up. before that I drank on the weekends only. And I have never drank before 5 pm. Never felt "god I need a drink." Never woke up needing a drink.
And I was the guy that always was helping everyone else deal with their emotional problems. Always there for everyone. People always felt they could cry on my shoulder, And they could!!!
Now after stopping I am dealing with this hell!!!!! I quit cold turkey by accident. I was sick and didn't feel like drinking. 3 day after stopping all hell broke loose. I am better now then I was in the beginning, but this Depression is HELL!!!!
I am really trying to deal with this without the Celexa but if I feel like this for much longer I am going to have to take the pills. There is no meeting on this planet that is going to take away the feeling I have every morning.
Just had to get this out. Thank you!