Thank you all. Your words are helpful & encouraging. Its good to know im not alone and going through this on my own. I like alcohol but apparently alcohol doesn't like me & i had to lose the one person who made me promise to quit to begin with and was supporting me, i fell off the wagon that night and I've been regretting it ever since. I need to learn to quit concentrating on the past on and start looking towards the future. The desire is still strong but i need to be stronger and your words are helping me to continue taking those first steps to a better me.