Well, things have happened since Monday morning since my bf got out of the ER.
- He completed his Librium taper yesterday. Today was the first day without any benzo in his system and although his nerves are still a little raw, his withdrawals seem to be getting better.
- He had separate conversations with both his father and mother telling them all about his previous years of drug abuse and admitting that he was in the ER because of Xanax. He also had open conversations with them about some things that have troubled him since their divorce when he was a teenager.
- He told all of his good friends about what's happened with Xanax and that he will not be getting any of them pot or pills anymore.
- Went to visit his primary dealer, told him what was going on and asked to be removed from the blast texts he sends when he gets in some particular type of weed/hash or whatever. He recorded this particular conversation for my benefit. He's deleted this dealer and another one from his phone.
- Saw a therapist on Friday, but found out that this guy is not a drug specialist and wants to switch to another person who was referred to him who does specialize in addiction.
I so want to be encouraged and positive about all of this, but I am afraid. He is so hopeful about his future and keeps saying that he feels like everything is going to be okay. I want to be positive and cheer him on, but the hurt part of me doesn't not want to get my hopes up. He has a long way to go, which he acknowledges, but he says he's feeling better every day.
Before posting this, I half-heartedly searched his backpack (that I hate) and emptied out all of the Advils in the bottle. I didn't want to, but I guess I did it out of my own habits. Oh, and earlier I read his texts. Whatever. I don't feel bad about it.
I guess I am cautiously optimistic though admittedly a little heavier to the side of pessimism.