Old 01-18-2013, 03:44 AM
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buttercup79
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 5
trying not to feel guilty about getting on with own life

Hi everyone, this is my first post...

My younger brother has been addicted to solvents for over ten years. He also drinks a lot and uses various other substances. I am nine years older than him and have watched him on a path to self destruction ever since he lost his mum when he was 12 (he is my half brother). He has almost destroyed his relationship with our father and is currently manipulating our grandmother into giving him hundreds of pounds a month, apparently to live on but obviously to fund his addictions.

As you can imagine there has been all sorts of chaos arising from his addiction over the years and I have become drawn in, in various ways. I try not to give him money but sometimes I give in when he's managed to make me feel particularly guilty about not having any money for electric or whatever. He's never worked and my dad and now grandma have funded his lifestyle.

Over Christmas he got really abusive when I wouldn't give him extra money as he hadn't budgeted for electric over the holiday period. I always feel bad for him over Christmas as he generally spends it alone as he's burnt his bridges with most family now. I wrote him a long letter explaining my feelings and highlighting that it wasn't my fault he had no electric (which he had tried to imply because I refused money). ANyway he did apologise so we made our peace but then two weeks later he is vile to me again when I refuse to act as guarantour on a loan for him! I really need to cut off contact for a while but have never done this before so any support gratefully received! I usually call him back immediately and get way too embroiled in whatever crisis is occurring. I have a baby son and need to focus on my own family now.

APologise for the long post Xx
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