Welcome,
I am also new hear and going through the same thing .. my husbands drug of choice were pills... the lying.. disapearing is all too familiar.. They are very selfish while they are using and it took me a long time to even realize my husband was an addict and of course I felt guilty as if I knew sooner I coulda did something to stop it from getting worse.. but know you are not crazy.. you are not wrong and I have done the same thing looking though the phone.. although he got smart and deletes all of them but honestly most addicts r too inlove with the drugs to go looking for another woman.. atleast thats how i feel with my husband.. it consumes their life.. I'm not sure of whatI am doing but I have no control over him you have no control over it.. but you have control over your own life... you create your destiny... there is happiness and everyone deserves it