Originally Posted by
fini 
looking back,( which might be skewed, of course) i could finally quit the drinking itself quite easily
when i woke up one day and saw i was a drunk, really GOT that on one level, but the other "levels", of understanding and accepting about powerlessness....that took a lot longer. and i needed to be able to 'understand" that with my rational mind, too. not just in my gut. it had to make sense to me, even in its senselessness.
i had to make sense to me, you know?
but, one thing you can take away from my journey is the fact that i did much of my figuring out AFTER i was sober. it wasn't at all necessary to get all that in order to get sober.
a long time ago, i had convinced myself very conveniently that i had to, HAD TO, understand the "why" of why i drank and kept drinking. this was convenient because i didn't understand and so i could just keep drinking
fini - thank you for saying that. that has been the conclusion i've been edging towards and something i think i have finally accepted. I think i've been guilty of putting the cart before the horse when it comes to drinking - figuring i needed to understand AVRT perfectly in order to quit. now i see that i needed to stop and allow the understanding to follow from there. i'm not kidding when i tell you that is a huge insight and breakthrough for me. thank you so much