I agree with suki
At this point it doesnt matter what the alcoholic mother believes you accept or dont accept.
She is going to continue to drink regardless and die from it.
What matters is what can be done for your sd before and after the fact.
Keep holding strong for her. She isnt going to understand until she is older
But when she does she will be grateful to have had the support from the both of you
Regardless in her feelings towards her mother.
Remember she is a teenager . She has alot of learning to do..she may be distant about her mother now but she may feel strongly for her later. In the end what matters is that she was given the opportunity
To see her . That yall were there and that she has guidance to deal with the emotions.
I know it is hard to have an alcoholic in your home (boy do we all get that!) And it must be equally as difficult to see your sd's reaction to her mother but just remember shes a teen. Shes a teen of an alcoholic. Shes your teen and sometimes the best things for us arent the easiest and sometimes we dont know what is good for us either . This doesnt mean that you should tolerate certain behaviour. .if the mother is being unruly or too much. Cut the day or evening short.