Jewelweed - I am so sorry, I too am mourning the loss of the partner that I had expected to grow old with. I know the pain and anger you are feeling right now. Man it seems sometimes like we are damned it you do and damned it you don't huh? I have no advice to give on this one. Just know that you are not alone and I'm sure these wonderful people will help you through this.
Hugs and Prayers
MsB