OMG the teenage years! Dang I think they are very rough on every parent.
They actually seem to turn into aliens.
My oldest grand daughter has just turned 15 and yep as good a girl as she has been and even though she still willingly still helps around the house we are seeing some periods of defiance.
And her brother will be 13 in April and is already turning into an alien. My daughter asked me "Mom how do I do this?" Well I discussed it with her first, this was last fall right after school had started, and since they only live 6 blocks from me, I set the two down, with both Mom and Dad's approval, and I made them an offer.
I seriously said that since they seemed to be starting to have some problems here at home, they were MORE THAN WELCOME to come live with me and my house rules. At first their eyes lit up and then it hit them like a ton of bricks and they both decided that living at home was better, roflmao.
Now that is not to say that the problems went away, but Christy has gotten very good at sitting them down individually and telling them that the 'manipulative ways' do not work when one tries them, and yes she and s-i-l are NOT their friends, they are the parents.
Even with A-ONE children like my grand kids, there are bound to be problems. They are being so 'influcenced' by their friends daily, by what is on television, by what they see and read on their 'friends' FB pages, etc
I firmly believe it is MUCH HARDER today to raise a teenager than it was when I was doing it, with all the external influences (especially the internet). It will always be difficult for parents when first they see the 'terrible twos' (just a glimpse of what is to come later, lol) and then "The Teenage Years." I do believe it does help a parent, it sure did me, to look at ones child as meta morphing from child to alien and then again meta morphing from alien to young adult human being.
(((((Outonalimb))))) I am sending healing thoughts and prayers to you and your son, as I know this is not an easy task you are doing.
Something that help me greatly was something my Grand mother (my native american grandmother) said to me when I was ready to pull my hair out:
"Laurie, parenting is hard, we become parents, so that some day down the road we can be the Grand Parent and we can spoil the 'little buggers' and then send them back to their parents." roflmao she said it was a 'parent's revenge' lol
And you know what? She was right, my grand children give me much more pleasure than my kids did, and my kids have turned into some AWESOME human beings that I just could not imagine them ever being back during those 'terrible teens.'
It will get better, in a few years, so hang in there and know that we are always here for you to vent, rant, rave, cry, scream, and yes even laugh.
J M H O
Love and hugs,