I'm sorry. I understand how relentless and exhausting it can be, which is multiplied when we question ourselves. My oldest son will be turning 14 soon. He is not obstinate or mouthy like that (my almost 12yo makes up for it) but he is sooo withdrawn and seems so sad and quiet. I'd rather he mouth off I think. He won't talk. He saw a counselor for a year and didn't talk about how he was feeling.
I can accept the reality of my life now but when I dwell on the sad legacy that has been created for these boys of mine I get so upset. I can do and be a lot if things but I can never be a boys father.