outonalimb
I know exactly what you mean. I also have a son living with me and always thought he was so placid and sweet. Once he became a teenager things did change and I remember thinking how it would have been so much easier if his dad had been around. Then his dad came back and we all moved abroad (son did not want to go.) Things got worse than ever especially between them and my son felt he told me like getting physical!! I would then have to calm my son down. Now I have noticed that when my son gets upset - I can feel like I'm back dealing with his dad. I rely on the Alanon tools to help me cope. My point is - I know how you feel like you are carrying everything on your shoulders - but in my experience having his dad involved was sometimes of NO help and sometimes made things worse.
With or without dealing with alcoholism - teenagers are hard - your sweet kid disappears and this angry creature appears - but on a positive note I thank God that I never had to go through losing a child like some of my friends have - they would do anything to be in our shoes. But yes it IS hard. If it was too easy - you're probably doing it wrong. Give yourself a pat on the back and hug. Your son trusts you and feels comfortable with you that's why he can behave this way. ((Hugs))